The Essence of Chuck : Entry Five (Super Sized)

Seeing as how I will be leaving shortly for a long holiday... I thought I would supersize this batch...

late...

FACT: Chuck Norris invented the internet.

FACT: Chuck Norris was Luke's father.

FACT: Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

FACT: Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

FACT: Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

FACT: Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

FACT: After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".

FACT: Chuck Norris never misspells a word. If he does, Webster simply changes the spelling.

FACT: Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can beat the crap out of innocent children.

FACT: Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.