grace and patience...

I openly admit that I am a failure. I mess up all the time. I struggle with life. I'm a mess and I need grace. Call me weak, call me what you want. but at least I'm honest. I only feel content when I am broken. When my battle scars are exposed for all to see I feel complete. I struggle with being humble and patient.

I am easily fed up with people who do what they know is wrong. You know, the people who continue to do things that will ultimately make them miserable. I wonder if some people are given some freakish gene that inclines them to make poor choices and not learn from mistakes. they keep walking into a brick wall. I am sure you know them. you may even be one yourself.

do they ever stop to ask themselves what the heck they are doing? do they ever think that maybe they need to rethink some of the choices they have been making? They claim to be one thing with their mouths and then something totally opposite with their lives... and frankly I am not sure that they are smart enough to even realize how hypocritical it is.

I can't stand it when people aren't real. when they aren't legit. when they hide things. when they are dishonest. yet they don't think anything is wrong with it. but just the fact that they hide who they really are is proof enough that they know what they are doing is wrong. If you are proud of who you are then don't hide it. Some of the best people I've met were people who openly admitted that they struggle. I respect real people. I respect people who refuse to be fake. People who refuse to take part in the masquerade.

with that said. I realize the irony of needing grace yet having a hard time of giving it out myself. I struggle to not be one of those people who continue to foolishly run into brick walls. I need to give grace. I need to have patience while not having tolerance. Is there ever a perfect balance?

i know this blog is full of holes and incomplete sentences and incomplete thoughts and run on sentences... but I just needed to let it all out...